Listening and Following Directions

House Rules

I recently wrote a post about a Routine Change for our after school schedule that I posted on our chalkboard door.

I also posted our house rules on that same door, in plain view to remind us how to behave throughout the day.

1. Be Respectful
2. Be Obedient
3. Be Honest
4. Be Kind
5. Be Positive

I once visited a classroom that had just two rules: be respectful and be obedient. Brilliant! I mean, you really don’t need much more than that because those are two rules that any type of disobedience can fall under. I call them “umbrella” rules.

I decided to use that in my house. Once your kids get a full understanding of respect and obedience, they are extremely effective for toddlers. However, those are BIG words for little kids, so don’t expect them to immediately understand them. However, if you use the same language a few times while modeling each of the behaviors, then your 2 year old will start telling you all about the appropriate behaviors he or she just displayed. (They also may start questioning you about your appropriate or inappropriate behaviors – but that’s all a part of the learning process).

How to teach your kids about respect and obedience:

-Define the new vocabulary

“Respect means you are being nice and talking nice to your mommy, daddy, siblings, friends and other adults. ”

“Obedience means you listen the first time and always remember the appropriate behaviors you should be showing at all times.

-Model the new vocabulary

“‘Mommy, may I please have some milk?’ is a very respectful way to ask for something. Can you say that? ::wait:: Great! I love how you used your manners and talked to me in a sweet tone. I appreciate you showing me respect. That was a very respectful way to ask me for something.”

“If I tell you to please pick up your clothes, a respectful response should be, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ and then you show your obedience by picking up your clothes right away. Listening the first time every time is a great way to be obedient.”

-Show the opposite behaviors and define them

“If I tell you, ‘Gimme some milk!’ Is that showing respect? No. That is called disrespect and it is not allowed. How can we rephrase or say it again in a respectful tone? ::wait:: That’s right! You say, ‘May I please have some milk?’ I love how respectful that sounds.”

“If I ask you to pick up your clothes and you don’t look at me, don’t listen to me, or tell me, ‘no,’ that is called disobedience and it is not allowed. Instead, what should we do? ::wait:: You’re right! Be obedient! We do the task right away! The VERY first time you are asked to do it! But first, how do we show respect when asked to do something? ::wait:: You’re right. We say, ‘Yes, ma’am.'”

-Model different scenarios of respect, disrespect, obedience and disobedience and have your child label each

“Is this respect or disrespect: ‘Moooooom I wanted to play with that toy!’ ::wait:: “Right. Disrespect. Do we allow disrespect? No.”

“Can you please throw this away? Yes, ma’am! ::throw trash away:: Was that obedience or disobedience? Right! Say, ‘great job, Mommy! Thank you for being obedient!'”

-Have your child generate responses from cues

“How can we show respect to our friends? ::wait:: You’re right… share our toys! Great idea!”

“If I ask you to clean up your spilled milk, what would you do to be obedient?”

-Praise and repeat language

“Thank you for being respectful!”

“I love how you were being obedient! You listened the very first time!”

-Frequent Reminders

“The way you said that was disrespectful, can you please change your behavior and use a respectful tone?”

“I have already told you once to do _____. You have not done ____. Is that being obedient?”

Sure, kids slip up from time to time, but by effectively setting your expectations for behavior and being consistent with praising and correcting, your child will likely choose to meet those expectations.

Now after having these rules for a while, I began to notice a few behaviors that my child was displaying that I still wanted to change. It was necessary for me to set aside a few more rules to clarify which behaviors I did not like, even though these rules can also fall under the first two big umbrell a rules.

3. Be Honest
4. Be Kind
5. Be Positive

My kindergartner, bless his little imagination, can get himself into a lot of trouble with the stories he tells. He is definitely the “dog-ate-my-homework” kid, so we instated the “be honest” rule.

He and his toddler brother were also starting to pick on each other around the same time. Sure, they were both being respectful and obedient toward Mom and Dad, but were they showing the same courtesy to each other? No. So we instituted the “be kind” rule.

Our last rule is to “be positive.” Sure, we can all have bad days (even Mommies and Daddies), but our newest rule is to take a few minutes to yourself to reflect, and then when you return to be with the rest of the family, you must come with a new and improved new attitude. And it must be positive.

After all is said and done, I have been rewarding my kids with tally marks when they follow the rules. We set a goal for our family: 100 tally marks = a trip to Kart Ranch (similar to Chuck-E-Cheese). It’s been way more positive than punishments for not following the rules and they have been more obedient all around, knowing that there is a reward – a positive consequence – at the end. Just a little encouragement for them.

What kinds of rules do you have in your home? Which behaviors do you want your kids to change? What new rules would you like to add to your list of expectations for your kids to follow?

March 11, 2013 by Casey | 0 comments

Christmas Tree Counting Printable

I can’t wait to share my activity ideas and schedule that I am setting up for my little one, as well as another great giveaway on the way!

In the meantime, here is a freebie that I made for your little one to practice drawing sets of objects. Don’t just hand your little one a set of crayons/markers and say “get busy.”

First, lay the Christmas Tree Counting Printable on the table with something small and colorful (like skittles) that you and your little one can use to practice counting sets together.

Then, point to one of the trees and show your little one how you might “decorate the tree.” “Ooh, this tree has the number nine on the star, I’m going to decorate the tree with nine colorful skittles! One, two, three, four, …..etc.”

This is a great way to model the directions by showing your little one how to recognize the number and count out that given quantity, AND by modeling one-to-one correspondence (counting one object per given number).

After you have your little one complete the hands-on round of the printable, on their own (assisting and prompting where necessary), then explain that instead of skittles, this time they will draw the number of ornaments (circles, candy canes, snowflakes, or whatever shape he/she wants). Before they begin, model an example of how to do this on a separate sheet of paper. And that’s it; now you have purposefully used a printable 🙂

December 15, 2011 by Jessica | 0 comments

Using Words To Describe Directionality

A lot of parents assume their super verbal and proficient little ones have a wider speaking vocabulary than listening vocabulary. It is not that your little one doesn’t “know” the words they are looking for, but there are certain language concepts that are not yet part of their speaking vocabulary.

For instance, if I asked your little one to look “under” the table to find my pencil, he or she probably wouldn’t hesitate. Your little one probably knows the word “under” in context enough to search in the direction that I am referring to. Or, if I am “under” a table and I asked your little one where I was he or she might state, “Under the table” using the position word “under.” But, in the context that I had a doll “under” something and asked your little one to describe where the doll is in their words. He/she may or may not use words to describe directionality like (under, next to, through, between, back, on top, over, above, etc.)

So, to work on developing this skill through a natural progression from head knowledge to incorporating these words into their oral voacbulary and using them abstractly, I am going to give you a series of position word activities using pictures of Casey’s little ones because she is such an awesome mommy teacher – check out her kidspiration blog 🙂

1) Playing Copy Cat Games: Casey loves to play these games with her little “Leyson man.” This is very similar to “simon says” – ask your little one to copy you as you place your hands “Over” your head, “between” your knees, “beside” your cheeks, etc.

under the bed2 — Casey's little one, James, hiding under the bed!

2) Hide and Seek: Hide a toy and give directions using position words for your little one to find it, “The block is between the couch pillows.”

3) Act it out with your whole body: “Can you hide under the bed? Can you climb on top of the stool? Can you jump over the pillow?” This part of the activity helps little ones meet the needs of learning through movement!Casey’s little one, Leyson, practicing position words with his farm animals!

position words activity — Casey's little one, Leyson, practicing position words with his farm animals!

4) Act it out with toys: “Can your cow jump over the farmhouse? Can your pig squeeze through the doorway?” This helps the little ones needs to learn in a hands-on way!

5) Use words to give directions: Place something (like a doll’s purse) between two chairs, then dialogue with your little one “Pretend that I cant find the Barbie’s favorite purse, but you know where it is! Without showing me, can you use your words to tell me where it is?”

November 14, 2011 by Jessica | 0 comments

Learning in the Kitchen

This past Thursday night, I cooked a meal for a group of college students, and one of them told me “I hope I’ll be able to cook meals like this one day.”

That one comment got me thinking about SO many things:

My first thought, to be honest, was satisfaction – who doesn’t like to make a crowd-pleaser?

Second thought, I was proud of how far I’ve come because before I got married I couldn’t cook macaroni and cheese.

Thirdly, I wanted to help this college student learn to cook because I love to teach about anything I have learned about (hints this site!).

Finally, I thought about how it was sad that I didn’t take the time to learn cooking tips from my mom and dad when I was young.

This reminded me of one of my FAVORITE things to do with kids, when permitted: bake or cook!

Maybe you already do this, but I have a couple suggestions to pack this activity full of learning opportunities.

Before starting, read a book like “The Little Red Hen” “Pete’s a Pizza” or another book that prepares your little one for the process and purpose of cooking or baking in a fun and meaningul way.

First, write out the recipe WITH your little one on a large piece of paper, and then read each ingredient as you pull it out. Ask them questions and give them clues “What ingredient do you think starts with the sound /m/?” (milk!) This will give you a chance to model reading and writing for your little one.

Next, measure each ingredient WITH your little one so that they have the chance to experience measuring for accuracy and to observe large and small amounts and they will naturally observe science in action as dough rises and ingredients mix together, etc.

Finally, let them take on as much ownership as you are willing to share: stirring, spreading, sprinkling, watching the timer, or whatever your recipe calls for.

Ask your little one what he or she wants to make or bake! Have fun!

Casey shared these pictures with me from the Young Chef’s Academy…

Mommy and daughter measuring to make the dough from scratch – ambitious!

Mommy and Daughter making the measurements precise.

Mommy and her big boy rolling out the dough.

James is enjoying the pizza sauce…mmmmmmm.

Putting on the cheese….my favorite part of pizza making.

And last step of prep….toppings of choice!

Here is a pizza recipe you can write out, cut out the pictures and use them when you write out the directions for the recipe.

Please share pictures on my mommy teacher facebook page of other FUN cooking experiences you share with your little one!

April 4, 2011 by Jessica | 2 Comments

Read A Songbook!

I love to sing. More than that, I love to sing to kids. Whether I am singing “This is the way we pick up our toys…”

Or “This is the day the Lord has made…”

Kids seem to be mesmerized by music, and shame on me, but they are so pleasant when they are in a trance.

Today, I want to help you mesmerize your little one for academic purposes, and maybe even for a quiet car ride on an errand run.

The cheap-o that I am will warn you that you may want to invest in a binder and sheet protectors for today’s activity, but you can technically do without it.

This is a songbook that I made for my sweet little friend Carsyn. I wanted it to be meaningful because I was filling it with a lot of educational songs too. So I simply uploaded a picture of her into a word document and picked a fun font (Kristin ITC).

Then I simply picked the songs that I targeted with the skills I wanted to teach her at the time. The FREE printables for these songs can be found at Kelly’s Kindergarten, Kid’s Count under School Is Cool Big Books , New Jack Hartmann Big Books, and Dr. Jean Big Books, as well as Dr. Jean.org.

Print them and put them together in sheet protectors back to back.

The book will be unique depending on the songs you pick.

If you are an over-achiever like me, you can download the songs you picked to print and make a CD that goes with the book. Or find a friend who has a lot of children’s songs on their computer and borrow.

**Sing-along books are great for SO many reasons**

Sing-along books:

Make it easy to follow along with the pictures and words.
Engage and maintain a child’s interest.
Help children follow along with print, one word at a time (one-to-one correspondence).
Teach children to read independently and with purpose.
Teach skills through rote memory (just from hearing a “Days of the Week” song over and over a child will memorize and learn the days of the week).
Help kids connect stories with pictures.

“Carsyn loves her songbook! She reads it all the time. She loves to sing along and read it to her little sister.” ~Kasey of Baton Rouge, La

The Starter songbook I made for Carsyn were the following picks:

Alphardy –sing to learn Album by dr jean (Letter Naming and Sounds Awareness)
Down by the bay – raffi singable songs (Rhyming)
Color farm –sing to learn (Colors and Color Word Recognition)
The Shape Song – Shape-A-Loo song fromTotally Math by dr jean (Shape Identification)
Five Fish – Sing Silly Songs Album by dr jean (Adding On)
Chant and write – totally math Album by dr jean (Number Identification and Formation)
Today is Sunday –dr jean and friends Album (Days of the Week)
The twelve days of school –keep on singing and dancing Album by dr Jean (Ordinal Numbers)