SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW!!!  (A little too early, if you ask me.)  Slowly but surely, there is a familiar feeling creeping into the air… the dreaded last few days of summer, and the excitement/anticipation/apprehension of a new school year.

If your child is starting school this week, or the next, or the next, I bet you are starting to anticipate the schedule change.  If you are a stay-at-home-parent like me, having to get dressed and out of the house at a certain time every single day can be a complete culture shock.

I want to share our school year schedule with you and how we rehearsed our routine that will take place Monday through Friday until the end of May.  In the classroom, the first few days of school are all about introductions, routines, procedures, expectations, and goals… now that our daily routine is changing to accommodate school and homework, Mommy needs to switch hats and do as the teachers do: rehearse!

Step 1:  Make a plan and write it down.

What do you want your mornings and afternoons to look like?  Think about every single thing that needs to happen and plan it out in your head.  Write it down and display your routine for your kids to see it even if your kids cannot read yet.  (Drawing pictures next to each step will help your non-readers.)

Step 2:  Teach your plan.

Step-by-step, moment by moment, what should your child be doing to get ready so that Mommy isn’t going crazy trying to pile everyone into the car, pop tarts in hand?  Walk through getting dressed, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, etc. so when the time comes, your child knows exactly what he/she is expected to do in the morning.

Step 3:  Rehearse your plan.

Practice makes perfect!  Practice bits and pieces of your day just a little bit at a time as to not overwhelm your child.

Step 4:  Remind and refresh.

Short, simple reminders go a long way.  While your routine should go pretty smoothly within the first few weeks of school, if it is not going as planned, perhaps a refresher course is in order.

Remember, in order for your routines and procedures to be effective they need to be:

• well planned
• well explained
• well rehearsed
• well enforced

And now, I will share with you… OUR MORNING ROUTINE:

1. Choose your breakfast.
2. Brush your teeth.
3. Get dressed.
4. Pack your lunch.

After they do all of these things, they may then turn on the TV until 7:30.  I have set an alarm on my phone so that we can stick to this time.

TIP #1:  GIVE OPTIONS – If your kids are like my kids, each morning I hear, “Mom?  What’s for breakfast?” and then I tell them what I have planned… so then I hear, “But I don’t want thaaaaaat.” Giving my kids options that are set out in front of them seems to eliminate whining, because on school days we do not have time for any of that nonsense.

TIP #2:  DO STEP #1 AND WRITE OUT A TO-DO LIST – If I tell my kids, “Go brush your teeth,” all I hear is, “Mooooom, I don’t want to brush my teeeeeeeth.”  For some reason, if it is written on the to-do list, the job is done.  No complaining.  No whining.  Bam.  It’s done.  Let the to-do list do the nagging for you.

We walked through and rehearsed this schedule about 6 times.  We had fun acting how how we brush our teeth and eat our breakfast and even practiced turning on the TV when we finished walking through each step (their favorite part).

OUR AFTER SCHOOL SCHEDULE:

• Homework (and snack)
• Bible Study
• Unplugged Free Time (no electronics)
• Chores
• Dinner
• Clean Up
• Free Time (electronics allowed)
• Bath, Teeth, Stories, Prayer and Bed – the typical end of the day stuff

There are so many things to do when your child gets home from school, and homework is just the big thing on that list.  What about all the little things like, “where do I put my backpack when I get home?”  If you do not explicitly tell your child where to put his/her backpack, it’s going to go in the middle of your floor.  I’m not a mind-reader, it’s just where my kid put his backpack last year until we designated a place for it. So make your plan:  where will the backpack/belt/shoes/folder go after school? Make an outline or label where exactly you want each item so your child has a good visual of where everything needs to go.  After a few weeks, you shouldn’t need the visual reminders anymore.

TIP:  GET ORGANIZED – Make a special zone specifically for homework and supplies.  Changing homework spots daily can be distracting for a child.  Having to search for supplies eats up the precious homework time that is limited by your child’s short attention span.  By giving your child his/her own little work space can help get them excited about homework and it also establishes boundaries and expectations for designated homework time.

In Pre-K and Kindergarten, homework should only last 10-20 minutes.  In 1st grade, well, we’re about to cross that road this year!

Ironically, making what visually looks like an extremely busy schedule, ends up being more relaxing even for Mommy.  As soon as we have a well established routine in place, we all breathe a bit easier and enjoy our free time together – that’s right, MOMMY TEACHERS get to partake in free time as well!  We are able to pack more into our short, few after-school daylight hours than we do if we do not have a strict routine.

Kids really respond well to structure, and you know what?  I think secretly, WE respond well to it too.  We all like to have something to look forward to, times set in place, to know what is going to happen next, to be able to have enough time to fit everything in, and if it’s on the list, chances are, we’re going to get it done… that includes spending free time with your kids.  It’s written on the schedule… that means, you gotta do it 🙂

So, speaking of, I’ve created my own weekly calendar to give myself set times to work:

As you can see, I gave myself Fridays off for play dates 🙂

Well, after all of this organizing and rehearsing, I think my big boy is ready to start first grade today!  Me, on the other hand, I’m not sure if it gets any easier to fight back the tears on the first day of school… time is flying by way too quickly.

Child:  “Knock knock!”

Parent:  “Who’s there?”

Child:  “Interrupting kid.”

Parent:  “Interrupting ki…”

Child:  “Moooooooom!”

Have you ever felt like you cannot ever finish a sentence with another adult without having one of your kids jumping in with, “Hey, Mom?”

This happened to me just last week… on several occasions… at the store, at a play date, at the post office, on the phone, while trying to talk to my husband… I just kept getting cut off!

By the end of the day, I was fuming.  There are only so many times you can hiss out of the corner  of your mouth, “Shhh… just a minute…” while simultaneously giving the “Mommy glare” while also simultaneously smiling and continuing your conversation with the bank teller.

Grrr!  My kids KNOW better!  Or do they?  I mean, I told them not to interrupt me the last time they interrupted me and then lectured them in the car until we arrived at our next destination where, sure enough, they interrupted my oh-so-important adult conversations yet again!  They KNOW better!  Right?

Well, do YOU?  Did you know that the car flying across the room was THE coolest thing to ever be witnessed by anyone on the face of this Earth?  Did you know that doing a spin-jump-kick is a feat that no other child has ever done before?  Did you know that one of your children is looking at his/her sibling???  Did you know that these things miraculously only happen when you are on the phone?  Did you?  Did you?  DID YOU?  Huh, Mom???  MOM???

There are several different Mommy reactions to these constant interruptions:

1. Ignore the child and talk louder.

2.  Mommy glare the child and apologize to the other adult for the child’s rude behavior.

3.  “Shhhhh… Mommy’s talking… go play…”

4.  Immediately stoop down, “What is is baby?” while cutting off the adult you are speaking to.

5.  Or the annoyed Mommy, “Whaaaaat, kid?”

I have not only witnessed all of these reactions, but am also guilty of  them.  I do not think that any of these are appropriate reactions to, “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom…” but you know, in the moment, well, we’ve all been there…

When my children interrupt me it just drives me crazy, so since it drives me crazy, I decided to fix it!  ::cue “Bob the Builder” theme song::

My first year teaching, my mentor teacher gave me the best advice ever in regard to rules and procedures in the classroom, which has also been a staple in my parenting:  “If something doesn’t work… change it!”  Sounds simple enough, but how many times do we just put up with those annoying behaviors before working to fix the habit?

Why must my child interrupt me?

Your child sees something he/she knows that you do not see and immediately thinks, “Mom has to know about this!”  That is his or her very first thought.  No matter what Mom is doing, she needs to see this/take care of this/know about this.  At this young age, children do not know how to prioritize order of importance, so everything is equally super important:  shiny things, moving objects, Brother’s hair on fire…

How do I get my child to understand this behavior?

Define the behavior:  Interrupting means that someone starts talking before the other person is finished.

Role play:  Have your child begin to tell you a story and cut him/her off.  Then switch roles.

Explain why interrupting is wrong:  Interrupting is considered rude and disrespectful.  It is hard to finish a conversation after getting interrupted.

Good interruptions:  interrupting is allowed if there is an emergency.

How can we break the habit?

My son and I devised a secret code that has been working beautifully for the past week (so yes, we still have to see if it stands the test of time, but so far, so good)!  Whenever I am talking and my son HAS to tell me something, he comes and holds my hand.  I acknowledge that he is there to tell me something by squezing his hand back (giving him the positive affirmation and attention that he is seeking).  He knows that when there is a break in conversation, I will then address him.  If the other adult is still talking after a while, I periodically squeeze his hand again, and then stoop down to his level at the first appropriate break.  I explained to him that Mommy also has to be respectful in conversations.

James LOVES our “secret code” and other adults have noticed and complimented him on his patience.  He is proud when he remembers to come hold my hand and pastes a huge goofy grin on his face when I squeeze it back.

Of course I remind him about our secret code before running errands or arriving at a play date, but that 2 second reminder in addition to the time we took out to devise a new plan has broken that annoying habit of interrupting!

What behavior(s) or habit(s) would you like to change?  Do you have any clever tricks to fix annoying behaviors?

*Note:  I recommend only changing one small behavior at a time before working on another one.  Trying to change several behaviors at once can actually have the opposite effect, sending your kid into change overload!

The endless job that everyone hates:  CHORES!  And boy oh boy, we mommies sure do have a lot of them!  So how about a little HELP around here??? Anyone?  Kids?

After a huge 6th birthday bash at my house, everyone (including me) wanted to run and hide at the mere mention of “clean up.”  The amount of work to be done was just incredibly overwhelming.  You know that feeling of “where do I even begin???”  We adults feel it, and kids do too.

I have been guilty of sending my children in to clean their own room after they have taken all of 2 seconds to destroy it while I was busy with my own chores.

Kids:  “Mooooom?  Can you just come help us?”

Me:  “As soon as I finish _____.  You guys start and I will come when I can…”

And then frustration sets in when, an hour later, I have finally finished sweeping, mopping, doing dishes, picking up the living room, doing laundry, and they have accomplished, well, destroying the room even more, the mess now spilling into the hallway.

Fortunately, today was not one of those days.   Today, I woke up with the mindset that WE (this includes the kids) were going to get things done around the house.  When my kids woke up, I told them that at 8:30 we were going to begin our chores.

Big Kid:  “But Moooom.  I want to play my new board gaaaaaame!!!”

Me:  “That is a GREAT idea!  That will be our reward for when we finish cleaning up!  Now, at 8:30, I want to see my Happy Helpers ready to work and when we get our chores done, we can play your new game!  You have one hour to eat breakfast and do whatever you want to do.  Timer starts:  NOW!”

Tip #1:  Kids react more positively when expectations have been established and there is an end goal in mind.  

In this instance, I have given my kids an opportunity to choose their own task for the next hour, knowing that when that time is up, they must then do what Mommy needs them to do.  My kids know that the term “Happy Helpers” means that I do not want any complaining when it is time to do chores; a positive attitude is expected.  They also have something to look forward to when chores are over, so they should work efficiently (haha that’s funny right there ;-).

Tip #2:  Make a checklist.  If it works for adults, it will work for kids too!

Just like Mommy and Daddy, kids also like to see which tasks have been accomplished and how many more are left.  They are like little versions of us or something. And BONUS:  they get to practice prioritizing, list making, fine motor skill development/handwriting (drawing check marks or lines through the chores that have been finished) and reading.

Here are some age-appropriate chores that we include on our checklist:

• Sweep the floors.
• Wipe the counters.
• Tidy the living room.
• Sort the laundry.
• Fold the laundry.
• Make the beds.
• Pick up the toys.
• Wash the windows.
• Feed the dogs.

Tip #3:  Let them choose which task to do first.

As soon as 8:30 rolled around, I showed the kids the list of what needed to be accomplished.  “Oh, I want to wash the windows!”  “I want to wipe the counters!”  I gave one the Chlorox wipes and the other the Windex and let them go to town!  Letting them do their favorite chores first put them both into Happy Helper mode (which means Mommy stays in her Happy Helper mode too)!

Tip #4:  Simplify the task.

Laundry:  Write categories on index cards for your kids to sort the laundry into different piles.  That way, the piles are smaller when it comes time to fold them.

Give your kids their own pile to then sort again into “hanging clothes,” “clothes to fold,” “underwear,”  etc. and they can bring them to their rooms to put them away.

Sweeping the Floor:  take painters tape and mark out a square area for them to sweep debris into.  I normally don’t task my 6 and 3 year old with sweeping the entire floor, but if they have spilled, for example, dry cereal, I pull out the tape and give them a place to sweep it all into.  They find this incredibly fun for some reason.  Then I hold the dust pan for them while they sweep it in.

Picking up toys:  Look around and what specific toys do you have a bajillion of that are scattered around the room?  Legos?  Blocks?  Play food?  For my kids, it’s cars.  I tasked my 3 year old with the job of picking up all of the cars.  It’s like a giant, 3D seek-and-find book!  He had this giddy look on his face as he ran around the room searching for toys!

Notice how many bins I have on the shelf for other toys, but for the toys that we have the MOST of, it’s just one giant bin to throw them all into!  Easier for Mommy as well!

Tip #5:  Make a big chore seem smaller!

I like to take yarn or painters tape to rope off sections of the room so the boys can clean smaller areas at a time.  We start in one area and get it clean, then move to the next area, then the next until eventually the whole room is clean!  I mean, it’s easier for us Mommy Teachers to do that as well, right?  First we will clean one room, then move to the next room, then the next.  We have already mapped out our own grids in our heads, so give your kids a visual so they can learn to do the same!

One of my pet peeves is when I ask the boys to pick up a few items from the living room to bring to their bedroom and they pick up one toy at a time to carry across the house and place it just inside their doorway.  I mean, at least pick up two things, one for each hand!  So that leads me to:

Tip #6:  Fewer trips = faster cleanup.

I recently got the “duh” idea to give my kids either bags or baskets to fill so they can bring multiple toys to their room at once.  They race around the living room, fill their bags, run to their room and put the toys away (i.e. dump the toys on the floor).

Tip #6.5:  Do this chore BEFORE the kids clean their rooms.

Tip #7:  Let it slide!

Sure they missed a spot… sure there are streaks on the windows, but they worked hard, they got [most of] the job done, and we have way too many chores on our list for today to be picky, so just let it slide and praise them for being Happy Helpers.

Warning:  There WILL BE more messes, such as the water Leyson spilled that almost made Mommy face plant on the floor.  Just add it to the “to do” list (it never ends anyway).

And, sometimes when you send the 3 year old in to just clean his room, he may actually surprise you…

…until you look under the bed.

Updated 8/3/13:  Tip #8:  TURN UP THE MUSIC!

A little music gets everyone moving!

http://youtu.be/POAJqQcLpFc

Please comment below with ideas and tips on how you handle chores with your kids!