Guiding Behavior

Journal Every Day

Today is a simple challenge to encourage you to be intentional about the writing process.   One of the first things I do for children to teach writing skills is to make a journal.  I have made writing templates for you so that all you have to do is print them and 3-whole punch them: click HERE to get them.

Every day date the top right of the page and brainstorm a topic to draw and write about.  I usually pick something that applies to our plans for the day or a reflection of what we did the night before.  Otherwise, I come up with something writing about a favorite candy or food, etc.

Then let your little one draw a picture free of any critiques or suggestions.  You can always give ideas if your little one is stumped but you dont want to squash their creative juices.  Then, guide your little one (dont dictate!) about how he/she will write: start all the way on the left side so you have room to write, write until you reach the end of the line and then start at the beginning of the next line.  Talk about spacing, height of the letters, and other print concepts, but DONT overwhelm or overteach.  Just give them tips and guidance (maybe just one new tip a day.  You will be surprised at their understandings over time.  Help them sound out words, but when you start dont focus on proper spelling, focus on the sounds they are actually hearing in the words.

If your little one asks: “So it that right?” Answer “Those are all the sounds you can hear in the word”

Later on you can show them the way that the word “looks in a book” by writing it out, but encourage them to sound out and write JUST the sounds they hear at first.

 

Guest Post Featured on Radical Parenting

How many of us (over the years) have heard, observed, or used the common trend of parents telling their kids to do something “because I said so?”  While this reasoning might give a sense of power to the authority figure in place, it does not empower kids to put forth their best effort in anything they do.  And I want to explain how you replace “because I said so” with more individualized incentives.

Read the rest HERE to learn more about these incentives.

Thanks radicalparenting.com for sharing 🙂

What To Do With A Clinger

I was at the park with some friends and I noticed one of my friend’s little girls clinging for dear life to her dad’s leg while the other children played across the park.  I know this little girl to be a VERY sweet little one, but she is just naturally shy when it comes to social settings.

So, I walked over to her, knelt down to her eye level, and asked her what her favorite area of the park was.  She hesitated as she pointed to the swings.  Right then, I held out my hand, and I said “Why don’t we go together to the swings and see if we can find one friend that we can play with by the swings?”  She didn’t hesitate at all!  She grabbed my hand and we headed over to the swings together.

Then, I called one of her well-known playmates over to the swings, and I asked my shy little friend to “use her words” and ask that friend if she would like to swing with us.  She hesitated and I said it again.  On the third try she asked that friend to play with her, and the other playmate gladly accepted.

After that, I stayed around for another 5-10 minutes to spark activity ideas and conversation between them, and then walked away to let her play independent of my guidance for a little while, but I kept my eyes on her in case it looked like she needed more prompting.

I wanted to share this with all my Mommy Teachers because I don’t want us to loose sight of the teaching opportunities we have in developing our little ones SOCIAL skills as well as cognitive skills.  I hope this inspires you 🙂

If you have any similar stories or questions PLEASE share them with me via email: jessica (at) themommyteacher [dot] com or on my facebook page.

I borrowed this picture of my friend Casey and her kids because she is such an awesome Mommy Teacher who plays with her kids and teaches them social skills as well.

Learning in the Kitchen

This past Thursday night, I cooked a meal for a group of college students, and one of them told me “I hope I’ll be able to cook meals like this one day.” 

That one comment got me thinking about SO many things:

My first thought, to be honest, was satisfaction – who doesn’t like to make a crowd-pleaser? 

Second thought, I was proud of how far I’ve come because before I got married I couldn’t cook macaroni and cheese.

Thirdly, I wanted to help this college student learn to cook because I love to teach about anything I have learned about (hints this site!).

Finally, I thought about how it was sad that I didn’t take the time to learn cooking tips from my mom and dad when I was young.

This reminded me of one of my FAVORITE things to do with kids, when permitted: bake or cook!

Maybe you already do this, but I have a couple suggestions to pack this activity full of learning opportunities.

Before starting, read a book like “The Little Red Hen” “Pete’s a Pizza” or another book that prepares your little one for the process and purpose of cooking or baking in a fun and meaningul way.

First, write out the recipe WITH your little one on a large piece of paper, and then read each ingredient as you pull it out.  Ask them questions and give them clues “What ingredient do you think starts with the sound /m/?” (milk!) This will give you a chance to model reading and writing for your little one.

Next, measure each ingredient WITH your little one so that they have the chance to experience measuring for accuracy and to observe large and small amounts and they will naturally observe science in action as dough rises and ingredients mix together, etc.

Finally, let them take on as much ownership as you are willing to share: stirring, spreading, sprinkling, watching the timer, or whatever your recipe calls for.

Ask your little one what he or she wants to make or bake! Have fun! 

Casey shared these pictures with me from the Young Chef’s Academy

Mommy and daughter measuring to make the dough from scratch – ambitious!

Mommy and Daughter making the measurements precise. 

Mommy and her big boy rolling out the dough.

James is enjoying the pizza sauce…mmmmmmm.

Putting on the cheese….my favorite part of pizza making.

And last step of prep….toppings of choice!

Here is a pizza recipe you can write out, cut out the pictures and use them when you write out the directions for the recipe.

Please share pictures on my mommy teacher facebook page of other FUN cooking experiences you share with your little one!

Teaching Positive Behaviors – Dramatic Play

The other day I observed a two year old hit his 8 year old brother in the face while playing at a toy table in a waiting room. I thought to myself “Okay, that’s pretty normal for a two year old to communicate with hitting (initially) because the two year old hasn’t had many opportunities to LEARN how to communicate in other ways (yet!). When I see things like this happen I think about what I would say for a consequence and then what I would do or say later to make a teachable moment out of that occurrence.
But in the waiting room, before I could really think about anything, the child’s mom (or grandma) JUMPED up and got in the little boys face, hovering over the little boy yelled, “I’m going to hit you in the face!” Then she picked him up by the arm and plopped him down in the seat, and told him something about being bad. When I looked this BABY in the eyes all I saw was a product of what behaviors he will CONTINUE to learn (from his mom) and practice, the “unwanted” behaviors, because he really hasn’t learned any other way to respond when he wants something.

This COULD HAVE been the first of MANY lessons on how to share, play nice, take turns, use words instead of hit, ANYTHING, but instead it was a lesson on how to respond in frustration and impatience, as modeled by the mom.

Please don’t get me wrong Mommy Teachers, I DO NOT want this post to be filled with momma-bashing comments and harsh judgments on moms that might have been caught on a bad day. I want this discussion to be one where we talk about POSITIVE approaches to teachable moments like these.

So, here are some tips for teaching 2’s,3’s, and 4’s when they make poor choices:

1. In the instance, approach it Super Nanny Style:

Get on their eye level, firmly but not volatile telling them “We do not hit our brother, we use our words. So if you hit or you are ugly to him again, you will sit in time out while your brother plays and you will not be able to play at all.” And then, FOLLOW THROUGH with this consequence if the behavior occurs.

2. LATER ON that day, in your own home, use a stuffed animal, puppet, doll, etc. to teach your child a lesson about their behavior. Just as adults learn the right approach to communication through the advice or instruction from a counselor (someone from the outside looking in), you will set up (the SAME scenario) with the puppet/stuffed animal to TEACH your little one the right choices to make. Kids have to learn these appropriate behaviors through teaching and EXAMPLE.

Below is my video EXAMPLE of a scenario you might create with you little one and a puppet to help teach your little one how think of other ways to solve the problem. I chose the scenario of the hitting sibling. James, Casey’s little one, was such a GREAT contributor to this video. I wish they lived close by because I wish I could film every video with him! This was the only video we took of this puppet show so I didn’t correct any of my word choice or dialogue so that you could see an unscripted,  authentic interaction.

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