My son has been using the phrase “I can’t” a lot lately because he is so catious, but lately I have noticed that he is using it as a crutch. We went swimming in the lake on the fourth of July and when asked to go into the lake he cried out “I can’t” because he was scared. I don’t want to ignore his fears so we are going to be swimming in pools more often until he is comfortable. But, I also want to implement the “I can” mentality into his vocabulary as much as I have the influence to do so.
So, here are a few things that I have casually introduced to Sean Patrick and spent time encouraging him with in the past week.
1) We started off coloring an “I Can” book that I could read to him and encourage him to “read” to daddy and others as well.
2) We made a homemade video of him on my iphone acting out all of the “I CAN” actions from the book (I would’ve shared this, but he didn’t feel like putting clothes on for the video haha).
3) I started a little personalized “I can” book for him in a Word document:
And 4) I stumbled upon a Barney (yes the big purple dinosaur) video called “I Can Do That” featuring a group of friends playing “I Can _____” and then putting on a skit about it.
These tips are NOT a short-term “cure” for the I can’ts! All of these ideas are things I am currently teaching toward a GOAL that we can replace “I can’t” with “I can.” I’m sure there will be plenty of reminders 🙂
I was following “Mekmommy” on Instagram and saw this fun, illustrated picture:
The Mommy Teacher that I am had to know the play-by-play and story behind this authentic, on-the-spot mini lesson. Krista (this particular mommy teacher) is a mommy of three and the blogger behind “The Mommy Calling.”
So, here is the story shared by Krista that I hope inspires you the way that it inspired me:
“It all started b/c Maddox ran inside freaking out because our yard was full of spider webs. Of course, living in the country cobwebs will always be there, so I had to figure out a way to help him understand. It actually turned into a lesson about counting, adding, habitats, the food chain, a ton of things!
I tore some paper off of the butcher roll and drew a spider. As I drew it, we talked about how it has 2 parts to its body, the head and the body, setting up for a later conversation about the difference between insects and arachnids. Then we counted out the 8 legs as I drew them and talked about how there are 4 on each side and how 4+4=8.
I used a different color crayon to draw the “silk”. I drew some in the spider’s belly, and drew a line coming from the spider and as I drew a random “web” pattern I explained that as the spider moves with the silk behind him it makes the web. After I drew the web I talked about the uses of the web. I broke it down by first drawing the spider in the web telling Maddox that the spider lives in his web. Then I drew an egg sac and explained that this is where the spider lays its eggs and they hatch. I drew a bug flying on the outside of the web and a dotted line leading to the web explaining that as the bug is flying it gets caught in the web because it is so sticky. I explained that the sticky web is how the spiders catch their food to eat. I drew an arrow from the spider to the bug and explained how the spider will then eat the bug. I then asked him if he remembered what the web was for and we broke it down into living, laying eggs, and eating.
Maddox then got his own crayon to copy what I drew and he explained it back to me while I reinforced that there were 2 body parts and counting and adding of the legs (making sure he drew 4 on each side rather than just drawing out 8 random legs so he could visually see the 4+4=8). We didn’t go into the details of the web again, but again we discussed the live, lay eggs, eat. All-in-all it was about 15 minutes and he was so proud that he spent the next 15 minutes talking about it over and over and hung his picture up and called his daddy to tell him about it. In 30 minutes he learned so much about so many things. And it wasn’t anything that was hard to explain or too over his head. It was such a great reminder of how many important things they can learn without a classroom and without making it a boring ‘lesson.'”
Today is a simple challenge to encourage you to be intentional about the writing process. One of the first things I do for children to teach writing skills is to make a journal. I have made writing templates for you so that all you have to do is print them and 3-whole punch them: click HERE to get them.
Every day date the top right of the page and brainstorm a topic to draw and write about. I usually pick something that applies to our plans for the day or a reflection of what we did the night before. Otherwise, I come up with something writing about a favorite candy or food, etc.
Then let your little one draw a picture free of any critiques or suggestions. You can always give ideas if your little one is stumped but you dont want to squash their creative juices. Then, guide your little one (dont dictate!) about how he/she will write: start all the way on the left side so you have room to write, write until you reach the end of the line and then start at the beginning of the next line. Talk about spacing, height of the letters, and other print concepts, but DONT overwhelm or overteach. Just give them tips and guidance (maybe just one new tip a day. You will be surprised at their understandings over time. Help them sound out words, but when you start dont focus on proper spelling, focus on the sounds they are actually hearing in the words.
If your little one asks: “So it that right?” Answer “Those are all the sounds you can hear in the word”
Later on you can show them the way that the word “looks in a book” by writing it out, but encourage them to sound out and write JUST the sounds they hear at first.
I’ve talked to a lot of friends lately who want to learn more about teaching their child how to manage their feelings, manners, and social skills.
As a teacher, building on children’s emotional development is somewhat like clockwork because you have a bird’s eye view of the behavior and have the resources to teach about the behavior. Whereas, as a parent, you have been so entwined with these emotions since your child was born, that it is hard to see beyond what you know about them and you often try to “fix” your child’s behaviors.
Well, the good news is that you can TEACH your child positive behaviors and encourage your child to PRACTICE these interactions and eventually you may not have to focus as much on their “misbehavior.”
Some of my “tricks” include REINFORCEMENT (a lot of repetition), REFERENCE (referring to characters in books that the child does want to be like/doesn’t want to be like), ROLE PLAY (allow your child to act out behaviors through characters they become), and CONSISTENCY (choose methods for teaching and consequences that work and stick to them).
I cannot cover the whole spectrum of teaching positive behaviors in one post, but I will introduce some things that I find effective in most circumstances.
As a first example, when I observe that a child is acting out on their anger, I have them go sit at a designated table/desk where I will meet them shortly after they cool down a bit. At this table I keep a basket of books and dolls/puppets under the table (not to be a play table but a table to work out emotions). This can otherwise be referred to as the “PEACE Table,” where you will HELP your child resolve and learn from these issues. When I bring children to this space I might say something like “I see that you do not have control of your feelings and you need time to get control. I will be back in ____minutes, (a minute for every year old) so we can talk about it and solve this problem.” **Casey suggests not starting the timer until the tantrum has settled because children can’t cognitively reflect and process their behavior or consequence until the mood swing has subsided.
If you are not at home, take their hand (as early as possible), and walk them over to any private area, out of the environment where they lost control.
I will make sure to tell the child that it is not bad to be angry but that it is NOT okay to act on it. I will give them examples by taking out a doll/puppet/g.i.joe. “This is Jack, and his toy was taken away from him. How do you think he feels? (mad). Yes, mad, and that is okay but what if jack hits the table because he is mad? Is that going to help him get his toy back? No, what is something that he can do to earn his toy back?” This starts to get your child to think about alternative behaviors to solve their problems. Then I would act out a similar situation WITH my child, and then I would have my child reenact the situation of their anger from earlier and talk about what went wrong and have them reenact what happened with a different ending to the story.
Children WANT to learn alternative behaviors! Most of their behaviors are instinct or habit. I am not encouraging you to stop issuing discipline and consequences…not at ALL. I am just giving you ideas of how you can start TEACHING positive behaviors in addition to discipline.
Additionally, reading books that discuss feelings, pose problems that need resolution, and identify children with different characters is a GREAT way to model inappropriate and appropriate behaviors.
So, here are some ideas of books that you can read so that when you are at the peace table you might either close with one of the books, OR refer the child to one of the characters in the book and how that character dealt with their similar problem. Go to your local library or thrift store and see if you can find any of them!
Summarize longer books for children with shorter attention spans 🙂
What do you do when you are overwhelmed with emotion?
I tend to journal a prayer or call a close friend.
Kids definitely get overwhelmed with emotions at times. In fact, your child could be kicking and screaming for your attention right now as you read this post!
The teacher that I am believes that every moment could be a teaching moment and maybe you can turn this lack of communication into a writing activity that enables your child to express their feelings in another way. Besides, writing doesn’t begin with formation and technique, it begins with scribbles and pictures!
So get out a notebook, a piece of paper, an easel, or a sketchbook and after appropriately dealing with behavior (I’m a fan of super-nanny’s technique myself), allow your little one to express his/her emotions in a constructive way.
Afterwards, write on the back what your little one said in verbatim and the date because it is like keeping a diary or keepsake book.
Use this activity when your child is overwhelmed with excitement as well; you want your little one to express the highs of his/her day too!
Before you do this activity, another fun incorporation is to read a book on feelings to them so they start to have a bird’s eye view of their emotions. I love the book Yesterday I Had The Blues by Jeron Ashford Frame so maybe you can stop by the Library when your running errands today!
Here are some snapshots in action:
One of my former students painting about her happy feelings.
A candid shot of me sharing the completed feelings book with all the friends who made it!
Another student reading her personalized page in the Feelings book to a classmate.
